How the Move Went, Motivation, Send a Prisoner You know a Card or Money For the Holiday

I've been delinquent in my posts but wanted to update on how the move went.


No problems with the police in both the town I moved from and to.  
I've had no problem with anyone in town, whether at my home or doing business in town.
The switchover of home and work addresses with the Sex Offender Resgistry was easy enough, though one has to remember to explicitly remove your previous address(es) as "active" addresses with the SORB.  Otherwise, your old addresses will still be listed and if you're not living or working at those old places, and the police come by to do a check, then...
It is very nice to have the extra $65 in hand, instead of the money going to probation.  Not having to wait for my PO or visit the courthouse is still a very nice thing.


My goal for the winter is to complete most of the book so I can publish next Spring-ish.  Living this "new life" on my own is slightly intoxicating and busy, which I have conveniently allowed to affect my motivation with regard to my writings.  I also have my 12 year old yellow lab who, along with his sister/littermate, have been my companion since I was released from prison in 2001.  Though quite comfortable and happy, his chronic condition - megaesophagus - and old age require a fair amount of care that I gladly give.  Needless to say, my dogs have brought me great joy and comfort, especially in unhappier times.  So I suppose I'm busy restarting my life but at the same time I really have to focus on writing before I start forgetting...

Updates and Such

Fall is here and I've been off probation for about two months now and I have to report it is still a good feeling to be off probation!  And I was thinking: I need to update the name of my blog and twitter account to reflect my recent changes.  So my twitter handle is @RSOoffProbation instead of @RSOonProbation.  The blog title has changed also though it may change again.  The web address stays the same for convenience sake.

Though I'm a little delayed in getting into the new apartment, I was able to make a few out of state trips to see friends, which was exciting for me.  I've really had no problems with my new life, other than the usual on again / off again struggle to find one job providing consistent work, but that is nothing new to me and thousands of other RSO's.  It is unfortunate, but many Americans are now experiencing what it is like to be an RSO and long-term unemployed and how that status really affects the obvious (income) as well as health, family, friendships, and general happiness.  There are several well known psychological studies which find if you can't meet your basic needs (housing, food, transportation, etc...), your health and happiness are significantly impacted.  This doesn't mean one needs to make $100k a year; depending on where you live it could be as little as $25k-$30k or even less.  Oddly, maybe this bad economy and stagnant/slumping job market gives the long-term unemployed public an empathetic glimpse into what we RSO's have to endure?  Perhaps not, but maybe.

Finally, I recently did something of a prison orientation with one of my first clients before he started his 4 year prison bid.  Working with him over the phone brought back many of the same fears and anxieties I had before going in and trying to convey the prison experience, what it is like, what to prepare for - all that information, is not so easy to do with a living human as it is to put on a blog post.  I'm confident he'll come out the other side okay.
-Richard

Radio Interview: A Level 3 Speaks Up

Erik at http://monstermartorg.blogspot.com/ gave a great radio interview to KIRO in Seattle.  While you're at his blog, check out his August 24th post on mentoring a fellow level 3 offender.
-Richard

It's Finally Over!

I am officially off probation!

I just found out today the judge signed my paperwork off on the 22nd.  As those of you who've been through something similar know, it's such a relief to be done with probation.  I'm not really celebrating too much tonight - it's a Tuesday after all - other than having a bourbon old fashioned or 2 and buying a few lottery tickets.  What a long journey it's been...

-Richard

It's 100 Degrees Out and I hope My Judge Feels Like Doing Paperwork

I stopped in the courthouse this morning and the ladies behind the counter said my file was just sent up to the judge and is on her desk for review.  I should know something today or Monday (I hope!).

It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over...

This should be a joyous and vibrant post with me talking about the bottle of Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame Brut I enjoyed and other such celebratory things.  Instead, this post will be about frustrating news, though my celebration is just on hold for a little.  I'll explain.

First, I am off probation - yay! Second, I am still on probation - booo!  Confused??  I was as well.

To have my probation officially terminated by the probation department, a judge needs to sign off on the report she receives from the assistant chief of probation.  The report gives the background of my offense, if I've had any violations, if I've satisfied all of the conditions of probation, etc...  This part I knew.

What I didn't know was that it could take from a week to a month plus to have the paperwork signed.  During this time, one is technically still on probation!  I pressed my PO as to what this means.  Essentially, he explained though I don't have to visit with him, pay fees, go to mandated counseling, I am otherwise still  on probation.  Asked if I can travel out of state, which I had planned to this week, and he said no (thank God I asked that question).  My PO also explained if I were to "get in trouble" again that would be a probation violation, which opens one up to much unpleasantness.  (Also, the judge overseeing my case has been on vacation, which could delay things!)

When an inmate is released from prison, he has a specific date on which he is released and is given a nice certificate signed by the superintendent saying he's done with his time.  There's really no confusion at all: you're either on one side of the wall or the other.  Like most probationers, when I knew what my release date was, I assumed I was free and clear afterward.  Imagine if I had gone out of state, been pulled over in my car, cop realizes I am on probation somehow, I get arrested, extradited, probation violation for being out of state without permission... you get the idea.  Am I over-thinking this-yes.  Do I have to over-think this-absolutely!  Many people on superior court probation (and quite possibly on probation elsewhere in the country) probably don't know about this "delayed termination" and they should.  Be sure to ask your PO about any such situation like this.

I have some employment lined up and am moving into a nice apartment once I get off probation.  I was planning on having been moved in by now but, rather frustratingly, it'll have to wait.  It's been a long probation and I'm a little antsy to get my life started up.

A Couple of Weeks To Go...

Last week I visited the probation office for a mandatory office visit and to pay the rest of the probation fees I owe as well.  The secretary counting my money found the stack to be $20.00 short, which it wasn't, but after a few recounts I officially paid off all of the fees to probation!  Then the bookkeeper behind the counter said "wait, no, he owes $130.00 on top of what he just gave us".  I just stayed cool and my PO went over to discuss it with her but I was kind of annoyed since the bookkeeper was the one who gave me the amount I needed to pay to have a zero balance and now she is saying I owe more.  As I mentioned in a previous post, ones probation can be extended after the scheduled release date if you owe probation fees, restitution, fines, etc...Thankfully, my PO ironed things out and I owe the Commonwealth nothing more than two more weeks.

I then told my PO I wanted to also pay probation the $110.00 DNA collection fee.  I paid the fee while incarcerated, the fee was refunded in 2001 due to a lawsuit, but I forgot about it until earlier this year when I was informed it wasn't paid.  However, here in Massachusetts, probation doesn't handle DNA fees, the State Police does.  So I then drove to the nearest post office to mail them the money order. Only problem is the State Police typically take several weeks to process your payment and to mail you a receipt.  This receipt is proof to your probation/parole officer your DNA fee was paid.  Unfortunately/fortunately for me, I have less than "several" weeks of probation left to serve.  If I cannot get proof of payment to my PO, then they won't release me.

After calling the State Police and explaining my situation, I was informed my PO could fax a request to the State Police seeking confirmation I paid the fee about a week after I mailed in my payment.  This way, I can avoid the nail biting at the mail box each morning hoping a receipt was in the mail.

25(ish) Days Left on Probation

Just a quick post here...
So far, so good.  Thankfully, the anxiety dreams have ceased.

Last week, I went to see my counselor for the last time (last time under the mandate of probation, that is).  Besides forking over money I desperately could use to move out next month, I was happy to have seen him and fulfilled the counseling requirement of my probation contract.  From here on out, I'll be attending counseling because I choose to.  Next week I will pay off the balance of my fees at the superior courthouse.  Afterward, there is only one more visit with my probation officer!

To be released from probation here in Massachusetts (superior court), my PO informed me he has to submit a report to the judge who oversees my case about two weeks before my scheduled release date.  From what I can gather, probation will go over my file and make sure everything is in order, that I've satisfied the conditions of my probation, and paid all of my fees.  On the day of release, probation submits a form (I'll get the exact form name for a later post) which essentially says I should be released.  As of today, no court appearance or examination in front of the judge in court is necessary since the release paper is part of the paperwork for the day.

My PO said I could just call in to be certain I was done with probation next month but I will be stopping in one last time to pick up a copy of my release paper, which anyone being released from probation should obtain for their own records.

Anxiety Dreams

I have 38(ish) days left on probation.  My papers say I'm to be released July 12 but probation says it's actually the 13th.  A few weeks ago probation said their official printout indicated release was supposed to be in November-also incorrect.  You really have to stay on top of things and make sure you know what probation's paperwork is telling the officers.  Anyway, release day is coming up soon.

I've been trying to compare the last days of probation with the last days of incarceration.  Situationally, they are different,  but for me, the cognitive processes are the same.  When I was incarcerated, there was always this generic rumor and fear someone was going to fuck up the end of your bid by attacking you, getting in a fight with you, snitching on you, or somehow otherwise getting you in a situation where more time would be tacked on to your sentence by forcing you to lose good-time or picking up another bid.  Call it neurotic, but it was just part of wrapping up on the inside.  Not that I made enemies in prison, but think about it: if you pissed off someone bad enough and he knows you're being release soon, he might just want to get to you before you leave.  Never underestimate the power of grudges and of guys needing to save face in prison.

Wrapping up  probation presents a different set of neuroses.  My victim and his family are on the outside; would they want to get back at me somehow via lawsuit or worse?  Is all of my probation paperwork in order and fees paid?  Am I going to screw up on the last days of 10 years on probation? etc...  I can go on.  Other than having a surprise balance to pay probation, everything is fine.

In the past week,  my brain has decided to incorporate some worst case scenarios into my 4am REM sleep. Some reasonable dreams and some crazy-ass dreams.  My first anxiety dream revolved around a scenario where I was in a mall (danger) telling some boy I saw not to drink the water from the toxic water fountain and reflecting pool (even more dangerous to do).  I then had the sinking feeling that I had violated probation by having contact with a minor without adult supervision and that I was going back to prison.  Nice, right?

Do Not Even Think About Fucking With Me, Sex Offender!

Another dream I have been having the past few nights revolved around me having to go in front of a judge to get released from probation.  The "fun" part of this dream was the judge overseeing my case was Patty Hewes of the show "Damages" on FX -  the only legal "drama" I have watched since being released (the show is totally about the characters and less so about the cases).  If you know who and what Patty Hewes was like then you already understand my concern.  Needless to say, in the dream she was not sympathetic toward me.  Patty Hewes (played by Glenn Close) was a New York City attorney who was ruthless, relentless, homicidal about winning/losing a case, and got what she wanted most of the time.  I don't remember the dialogue of the dream other than "fuck I have Patty Hewes as my judge"!  Of course, she is the type of lawyer you absolutely want on retainer.  So thank you Glenn Close: you have totally mind-fucked me for the past few nights!  I wonder what Freud would say about all this.

Anyway, the reason why I am writing about this is to convey the fact that some of these anxieties and fears may creep up on you, haunt you, and follow you 'til the end of your incarceration or probation/parole.  I hope it's normal.

Intensive Parole For Sex Offenders

In the relatively rare event you or someone you know is granted parole from prison and is a sex offender, Massachusetts (and other states I'm sure) have a program tailored specifically for SO's.  The difference is stark when comparing and contrasting being a SO on intensive parole (especially if you are a Level 2 or Level 3) and being on superior court probation.  As difficult and demanding as some of the conditions of intensive parole look to be, and these terms become more elaborate and invasive the higher your SORB dangerousness level is, doing prison time outside of the wall is the better choice.  Some elements of parole are in probation, but when you look at the requirements for Level 2's and 3's on parole, that is where the difference really lies.

I know a RSO who successfully went through intensive parole after about 8 years being in prison so it's definitely doable

Here is Massachusetts program and terms for intensive parole for sex offenders:

Intensive Parole for Sex Offenders

Offenders classified as Level 1 by the Sex Offender Registry Board, or appealing Level 1 classification are subject to the following conditions:

You will agree to allowing shared communication among Treatment, Polygraph Examiners, Probation/Parole, District Attorney’s or Attorney General’s Office, other law enforcement officials, and the Court; and disclosure to any others as deemed appropriate. 

You will enroll and participate in a treatment program for sex offenders approved by the Parole Officer. 

You will develop and abide by a Relapse Prevention Plan, which has been reviewed and signed off by an approved sex offender therapist.  You will assume responsibility for paying counseling costs.

You will be required to take a Polygraph Examination every six (6) months or more often, if required, at the discretion of the Parole Officer.

You will not have contact of any kind with the victim(s) or the families of the crimes you have been convicted.   A family member will include spouse or person who lives with the victim in a relationship similar to marriage, child or stepchild, sibling, parent, stepparent, or guardian, aunt or uncle, and grandparent.  

You will not use the internet without permission of your supervising officer and you must submit to an examination and search of your computer to verify that it is not used in violation of your supervision and treatment plans.

You will not possess, own or use computer programs unless approved by the Parole Officer.

You will not engage in the use of personal ads or the internet to contact or meet people.

You will not view pornography of any type or enter adult entertainment establishments.

You will not possess any equipment or devices which are designed for the purpose of restraining or confining a person (e.g. Handcuffs, restraint chains, etc.)

You will not possess any camera(s) or other equipment used for the recording, playback, or storage of images or filed unless approved by the Parole Officer.

Any home plan must be approved by the Parole Officer prior to relocation.

You will not pick up hitchhikers regardless of whether you are the driver or passenger of the vehicle.

You will not frequent places where individuals under the age of 18 congregate, such as parks, playgrounds, schools and not attend movies with the without permission of your parole officer.

You will not engage in any employment or activity involving the unsupervised caretaking of any other individual.

If you are on parole for a sex offense, you will be fitted with a GPS monitoring device and conform to any requirements for the implementation of the device. You will adhere to any Exclusion Zones as determined by the Parole Board and remain out of these restricted zones at all times. (This condition is effective 12/21/2006).

Offenders classified as Level 2 by the Sex Offender Registry Board, or appealing Level 2 classification are subject to all the above conditions, including all the following additional conditions:

You will not travel out of state at any time unless approved by the Parole Board.

You will not have sexual, intimate, or living arrangements with any individuals without the individual being informed of your Parole Status, sexual deviancy, and criminal history.  You are responsible for advising individuals who meet the above criteria of your crime.  You must reveal to the Parole Officer the name of anyone you are involved with, as stated above, and the Parole Officer may confirm compliance.

You will keep a daily log of all activities; to include all personal appointments, a detailed driving log to include the starting and ending odometer readings, times, places, and persons visited.

You will not socialize or otherwise have contact with individuals under the age of 18 at work or at social situations unless accompanied by an adult who has been made aware of your sexual deviant tendencies, as approved by the Parole Officer.

You will adhere to the Parole Board’s established curfew of 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. You are required to be home between the hours of 10:00 PM and 6:00 AM daily, unless otherwise directed by the Parole Officer.

Offenders pending classification, or classified as Level 3 or Sexually Violent Predators, or in the process of appealing Level 3 classification, are subject to all above conditions, including the following additional conditions:

You will be fitted with a GPS monitoring device and conform to any requirements for the implementation of the device. You will adhere to any Exclusion Zones as determined by the Parole Board and remain out of these restricted zones at all times.

Hiccup with 2 Months Left on Probation

First: no, I have not reoffended, violated probation, or something like that

I made an office visit to the courthouse where I was to see my new probation officer.  While there, I asked the bookkeeper to (again) review my account so I knew that I might owe in probation fees.  The bookkeeper came out and said I owed about $2,400.00!  I said that was impossible and she should recheck my account.  $2,400.00 is about 37 months worth of probation supervisory fees and if that were the case, my PO would have violated me a long time ago for violating one of the conditions of my probation (paying probation supervisory fees).

The bookkeeper came back and then said I now actually owed about $1,600.00.  I asked what made the difference but she didn't answer my question directly.

I then met with my new PO and he pulled out a sheet saying I wasn't due to be released from probation until November 2011, which I also said was impossible.  Every document I have from sentencing to my probation contract says I am to be done with probation 10 years from the day I was released from prison, which was July 2001.  He said he'd look into it.

You really have stay on top of things!

Sorry For the No-Posts: I've Actually Been Working!

I'm grateful to have been gainfully employed the past month.  It's something of an elixir and high against the relative poverty I (an many other RSO's) experience all too often.

You've "Sexually Offended", Never Been Caught, But Want To Talk About It: How To Safely Discuss It and Improve Your Life

Readers note:  This is a tricky post to write without sounding like I want to help people "get away with it".  But there are many in this situation who are unaware of their options.  Check with an attorney and your therapist and know the laws if you decide to go down this path.
Also, I put quotes around the words sexually offended in the title of the post since the definition of a sex offense can vary from state to state, country to country, as well as person to person.


The title is just an example of many people who are in a Catch-22.  Most sex offenses are never reported and a majority of sex offenders will never get their mug shot taken.  With the growing awareness of sex offender laws coupled with perhaps the self help movement and other personal decisions, there are many people who have "deviant attractions" and/or committed sex offenses nobody knows about and who want to address that part of their life in an open and honest manner.  Some are bothered by their past and/or current behaviors; others want insight; or there may be a lifestyle change such as having a family, where he is concerned about, for instance, inappropriate feelings he is having toward his children and fear he might repeat past behaviors.  Whatever the case, these people want to be proactive. They realize the more secretive they have to be about their behaviors and desires, the more of a grip these it will have on them.

Unfortunately, there is an understandable fear in discussing sexual offending, even with a licensed therapist and all of the legal and privacy protections enjoyed in the therapist/patient relationship.  Talking about sex offending is not the same as talking about drug use.  The concern lies in the fear of being reported by the therapist, being arrested, losing one's family, a job, friends, going to prison, having to register as a sex offender, etc... The risk simply isn't worth it for many and the system isn't constructed to facilitate this sort of proactivity.

However, there absolutely is  a safe way if you do want to talk about past criminal/sexual behaviors or deviant thinking without the Gestapo crashing through the door to take you away.

Here in Massachusetts, there is a mandatory reporting law (I assume it's similar with other states) for therapists if essentially they feel you are currently endangering yourself, someone else, or if you give them particular details about sexual offending you may have done.  But, if you leave out identifying information such as the name and relationship of the person you offended against then you can be free to talk without triggering the mandatory reporting responsibility of the therapist.

In my group counseling, there were many guys who had more crimes than they were convicted of and felt safe revealing those episodes in that environment since we knew the parameters to talk with.  The goal being it is better to put this stuff on the table, hash it out, understand the patterns in ones life leading to offending, thereby helping the offender to manage his behavior, which leads to a safer society.  A big part of offending is secrecy and isolation, which can magnify the power deviant thoughts and behaviors can have over oneself, among other things.   In my opinion, if you are able to circulate those things out of your system by at the very least discussing them, it diffuses a significant amount of influence it may have.  This isn't about getting a free pass for past behaviors, but rather a realization that talking about this stuff with a trained professional and maybe similar individuals is most important to ones well being, safety, and happiness.

It's best to verify with (ideally) an attorney and chosen therapist regarding privacy and when they are compelled to contact authorities.  Too many people aren't aware of this option, which at the outset sounds like suicide but in reality can help people lead healthier, happier, more honest lives.

Lots of Waiting Awaits You: After 232 Home and Courthouse Visits I Know!

Whether you're in prison or on probation, you know all about waiting.  Waiting for the years to click away; waiting for chow time; waiting for a letter; waiting for the gate to open; waiting for your Probation Officer; etc...  As a probationer, it's maddening and somewhat counterproductive for a probationer who is working or attending class.  But it is what it is.

Tomorrow, I yet again have to wait for my probation officer to make a home visit. This will be about the 116th home visit by probation.  They always say they be at the house between 7am-12pm.  This type of waiting is one of my real gripes with probation.  Imagine having to wait for the cable guy once a month!  I have alternating biweekly home and courthouse/probation office visits which doesn't sound that bad but if you do the math the hours of waiting add up.  With me, a whole morning every other week is dedicated to probation.  Whether it is waiting to see my PO come down the street or driving 45 minutes/40 miles to the Superior Courthouse, its costly in terms of lost income at the very least.  I've had to turn down work and substitute a day class with a night one due to the scheduling conflict with probation and the mandatory nature of the home visit.  And if you miss the home visit, your PO is less than pleased since he is only out in my area once every few weeks.  I'd be violating the "maximum supervision" condition of my probation contract.


If I worked at any "real" job, I'd be gone unless I could come up with some life or death excuse such as "I'm receiving life saving transfusions at a hospital every other week" or "I have to bring a family member to the hospital for chemotherapy".  Sounds extreme but you might find it necessary to, yes, lie.  For those of you who are able to work with an understanding boss to get the time off to see you PO, that's awesome, though at the same time people who can't mind their own business will ask around and wonder why you aren't at work and who you are talking to in the parking lot one Friday a month.  Make sure you have a believable cover story!  Your job may depend on it.

Tsunami, Earthquake, and My Previous Attempt At Visiting Japanese Family & Friends

Like many others, I have family and friends in Japan who have been experiencing the unrelenting horror that has been playing out since Friday.  I was relieved to hear from those I know saying they were okay but know aftershocks continue and winds today could take any significant nuclear material from reactors in the affected region south toward Tokyo and Osaka.  It's not over.

A few years back, I received permission from my chief probation officer and a judge to visit Japan for work and family reasons.  But it wasn't going to be that simple.  I had a ticket in hand and boarded the long flight to Tokyo.  This was my first international flight and when the customs card was passed out, I filled it out truthfully and completely.   That means checking the box that said I was a convicted felon.  Now, in the etherial world of honesty, this was an awesome choice.  But in reality, when I passed the card to the customs officer after disembarking, she asked me if I had really checked the correct box.   I, of course, said yes, and she called over a supervisor.  Long story short, I was denied entry to Japan and was put on the first flight out, which happened to be to Hawaii.  Not a bad thing, I suppose, because after almost a full day of flying I spend a day in Honolulu, rented a car, and went swimming during my layover.  Overall, I was disappointed and devastated.  Stupid me...

I should have done some research on customs but maybe I didn't want to know the truth-that Japan really doesn't let anyone in with a declared criminal record.  The exact regulations aren't clear. One website says if you spent more than a year in jail/prison you aren't allowed entry.  Whether or not they know beforehand of any criminal record-I don't know.  I'm not suggesting to lie if you are a convicted felon but I wonder how things would have gone if I hadn't been so honest!  Naive...

Within the next few years, I do plan on petitioning the consulate here in Boston to try and get an official to allow me to gain entry to Japan, which I am sure involves connections and a fair amount of money.  I've never seen my family in Japan but recent events make this wish more imperative than ever before.  At the same time, I also have had a recent offer to travel to Thailand, too.  Yeah, I know, totally looks bad as a RSO but there is nothing nefarious about the trip at all.  I love to travel and that is a dream vacation no matter who you are!  A friend of mine has a "connected" family in Bangkok who will host me and show me around.  I should try and go before laws get passed stripping RSO's of passports.

Hysteria

In response to this blog article:
http://www.newdirectionsacs.com/sex-offender-specific-treatment-provider/bid/27867/Sex-Offender-Hysteria

It seems every generation the public needs some group to hate in the name of protection.  Thanks to the internet, when it comes to sex offenders you can spread false information and scare others like never before.   The relative anonymity of the internet means one is not accountable for his comments, misinformation, and disinformation.  In a way, some of these folks are "cell warriors" in public; behind the safety of a computer they'll say anything but when they walk out their door they don't speak with as much bluster or righteousness.

Many comments in the media or news article comment sections aren't grounded in any sort of science.  Many times, these same people say sex offenders can never be cured.  I don't even think that's the appropriate question, whether or not we sex offenders can be "cured".  You don't cure sexuality or sexual behavior in any of its forms, you manage these behaviors.  There are sex offenders who reoffend with a sex offense, yes, but its not to the epidemic proportions many are lead to believe.  If that were the case, and with all of the many facets of protection parents and the public use to protect children, wouldn't we by now know about unseen daily rampage of child molestations by sex offenders?

To be blunt, many in the public don't know what they are talking about when it comes to sex offenders.  They've never looked at an actuarial table, talked with a seasoned chief probation officer, or followed a sex offender for years after he has been adjudicated.  But it's difficult and uncomfortable to have one's worldview questioned since it has been a cozy companion for years.   Any sentiment falling short of "kill all child molesters" "and throw them in prison for life" could mean you are a sympathizer or a soft-on-crime liberal, right?

It will take time, but the hysteria has reached it's apogee, and a more realistic and effective conversation  is taking place everywhere.  It may take a few decades or so, but American's obsession and hysteria toward sex offenders will subside to a more rational state.

The College Sex Offender

A few months after I was release from prison in 2001, I enrolled in a state college here in MA, studying for a bachelor degree in psychology.  I was young enough (just about to turn 25) and motived to attend school full time, but thrusting myself into the realm of 18-21 year olds took a little getting used to.  Thanks to my family, I was able to commute to school and live at home.  I can't imagine I would have been able to afford attending school any other way, especially a few months out of prison and on probation.

With my bachelor degree, I planned on attending graduate school where I could then be trained and certified as a clinical or counseling psychologist.  Yeah, I know the usual critique of psychologists, they are in the profession because they are screwed up themselves.  It's probably true but to some extent, who isn't?!  Anyway, as good as my intentions were there was no way I could ever do the internships and receive state certification.  So now, on to Plan B: becoming certified as a "life coach".  It is an expensive credential, important to have when trying to find clients, and the strengths-based approach with a foundation in positive psychology is more attractive to me.  I don't regret my 4 year degree and subsequent debt at all.  I learned how to learn, made some good friends, and proved to myself I could actually accomplish something besides surviving prison.  I had zero skills to bring to an employer, so school was really the only viable option.  But I should have thought things through before choosing my major!

Let's talk about things you need to consider if you are thinking of attending any institution of higher ed.

• Pick a viable major (see previous paragraph)
• Try and figure out if it's worth it from the stand point of taking on debt and your current financial situation.  Holding a job while attending classes is best.  If you are able to secure grants and loans, even better.  Sometimes a job is more valuable than a diploma, especially if you are a convicted sex offender.
• Be a commuter or live off campus.  Do not live on campus in a dorm, even if somehow you can.  With mandatory reporting of sex offenders on college campuses, very soon you will be popular for all the wrong reasons.  Skip the drama.
• Tell a trusted advisor or professor about your situation:  You want a respected member of the campus community to be aware of your situation by way of your telling him/her and not them finding out from the campus police.  My advisor ended up being a staunch ally of mine and always offered to help if I had problems with anything relating to being a sex offender on campus.  Also, when the rumors about you start to fly, he can shut a lot of conversation and people down by saying "yeah he told me about that".  Simple but effective.
• You might not be popular and well liked.  Deal with it.  But do your job as a student and member of the community, be yourself, be friendly, make friends, and even if others don't like you, they have to respect you, which can pay dividends.
• Avoid the dorm parties starring booze and drugs. The parties are a volatile mixture of hormones and emotions and things can and do happen.  You don't want to be anywhere near it when it does.
• If you run into trouble on campus such as being harassed, document it in any way you can, even going to the campus police and filing a report.  And don't wait until it's convenient.  My story of dueling police reports with my victim, then an adult in 2004, is fair warning.
• Don't be creepy.
• Be normal and do what you want to do.  Go work out in the gym, join clubs, play intramural sports, tutor other students, etc... You're paying good money for school so use it like any other student.
• Be fearless without being offensive.
• If there is a report of a sex offense on campus by an unknown assailant, you may want to get in front of it.  Consult your lawyer and/or probation officer, let them know what happened on campus.  My PO suggested I, along with my attorney, stop in the local police department and introduce myself to the detective and answer any questions he had.  It sounds ridiculous, I know, but sometimes being out in front of this stuff is effective.
• Make the Dean's List
• If you are on probation/parole, inform them of your schedule for the semester and see if you can make alternate arrangements if, say, you have a class scheduled the same time you are supposed to meet your PO for a home visit or court house check-in.  You could also file a motion with the court to try and get some of your requirements/restrictions modified with a judges order to accommodate schooling.  It's tough for them to be hardasses with someone trying to turn their life around by going to school.

Watch This Video From 1967 and When Someone Says "Homosexual" Replace It With "Sex Offender"

Check out this link for a full report from http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/remembering-%E2%80%9Cthe-homosexuals%E2%80%9D/discrimination/2011/03/08/17858

Sound familiar?  The correlation is not 100% but you get the idea.
-Richard

Sanctioned Hateful Rhetoric

 I posted this in response the usual ignorant/hateful comments you see in the discussion section of any online article related to sex offenders. http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2011/03/08/minnesota-sex-offender
There really isn't enough to write when it comes to people calling for my castration (so 20th century, come on) and/or murder.  

As someone who sexually offended against a child when I was 20, spent 4 years in state prison, and am finishing up a 10 year probation sentence, I'm pretty well informed with how being a sex offender can affect ones life as well as the lives of those who care about him. It's interesting to see how a story on a sex offender acts as Rorschach Test of sorts. The blustery posts in any comment section of a sex offender related article calling for castration or murder do nothing to advance the issue to any semblance of educated understanding. I find people calling for the murder, any murder, but in this case murder of those convicted of a sex offense, appalling and the fact that rhetoric is tolerated only points to a level of sanctioned hate facilitated against sex offenders. I accept the sentiments of punishment and vengeance - normal human emotions - but a red line should be drawn as to the extent of either.

I am 34 now, went to a state college here in MA right when I got out of prison, got a BA in psychology, have had and continue to cultivate wonderful relationships with people who know my background and support me. I am writing about my experiences in my blog to help others convicted sex offenders and their families navigate the onerous world of living as sex offender in the United States.

The vast majority of us don't reoffend and look to redefine our lives in more healthy and productive ways. 

-Richard

Personal Prison Story: Changing the Channel on Miss Pucci

Today I have no motivation to write a post about the do's/dont's/what to think abouts of being a sex offender and ex convict.  I'm sure readers could use something a little different, too.  As doom and gloom prison is, there are many moments of of humor and relative hilarity to be found.

In 1998, I spent the year in the Dallas County Jail as Massachusetts was transferring inmates to the DCJ due to prison overpopulation in MA and the financial incentives DCJ offered.  This being a county jail, the DCJ was not really designed as somewhere where an inmates was supposed to spend a year.  The jail was a hermetically sealed tower near downtown Dallas.  Slot windows might give you sunlight in your cell, if you have a window that isn't facing a brick wall 5 feet away like mine was.  The "pods" held 10 men, each (thankfully) with our own cell and closable metal/plexiglass door.  It was dingy, with flourescent lighting humming 18 hours a day and cigarette smoke staining the walls and everpresent in the recycled air.  Not an enjoyable or healthy place in many ways.

A single TV was the focal point of any pod, providing a connection to the outside world you could no longer physically experience.  It was up to guys in the pods to figure out what the schedule of the TV was, taking into account preferences from whites, blacks, latinos, and asians if you had them living with you.  Each person would also get their own TV time that was not to be screwed with unless agreed upon by the time slot owner.  Violating this arrangement is a huge sign of disrespect in prison. 

A predictable schedule throughout the week was the best predictor of peace in a pod, though big sporting events took precidence over everything else.  For example, it was very import to know every Saturday afternoon into the early evening was Latino heavy on the TV with Johnny Canales and Sabado Gigante.  This way, every week you knew what was coming and could smoke, drink hooch, and dance to the music or schedule that time around shutting your door and do something else entirely.  

Ronnie, AKA Miss Pucci (pronounced poochy) was a tall, black, thin, gazelle-like drag queen from Springfield, MA.  Rather than wear the dour and uncomfortable jumpers provided by the jail, she instead fashioned a "dress" out of a white bedsheet.  (by the way I use "she" and "her" since it is the norm when addressing or talking about queens like Ronnie). The single-strapped dress, with single breast exposed, was draped remarkably well with the hemline sitting an inch or two above her knees.  In this fashion, she would saunter about the pod, practice her runway walk, play cards, or cook, while other times she preferred the pink boxers provided.  The brilliance of the dress could be experienced whenever Pucci heard a classic drag song on the radio channels playing through the pods TV.  One such hilarious and skilled back-to-back performance reincarnated Gloria Gaynor herself, with Pucci performing the classic hit "I will Survive" followed by a spot-on crystal-shattering performance of Minnie Riperton's "Loving You".

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Any of Pucci's performances were something you could easily see on RuPaul's Drag Race - the girl knew what she was doing.  Whether he admitted it or not, every inmate and guard, gay/straight/solid or otherwise who saw these and other Pucci performances was entertained and impressed.  Besides the juxtoposition of a drag queen singing in such bleak and stale environs, Pucci was able to make you forget where you were and all of your troubles, if only for a song or two.

But this queen was not to be crossed.  A few months before I left the DCJ, Pucci transferred out two pods down from mine to be with some guy who would keep her company and cared for i.e. buy her food and cigarettes.  From my vantage, one could easily see what was going on in the day room of Pucci's new pod.  

One day, I was flipping through the local rag and looked up to see Pucci standing by his pods' TV, in full regalia, arguing with a rather well built latino guy.  Emotive as queens are, I could easily tell she was pissed at this other inmate for changing the channel on the TV as she was pointing back and forth to the TV and him.  With Pucci standing between him and the TV, this guy-let's call him "Miguel"- decided to ignore Pucci's tirade and again change the channel on the TV.  Immediately, Pucci grabbed the Miguel by the jumper and repeatedly pounded on his face with quick and rather painful looking jabs. She completely took Miguel by surprise.  Miguel tried to counter by putting his arms up to deflect the punches, grabbing her dress, or spinning away from Pucci, but she anticipated his moves and continued her assult. The dress was flowing and rippling with Pucci's moves and countermoves, adding a sort of elegance and confusing nature to the fight. (looking back now, the dress gave her a big advantage since it was difficult to grasp in a fight since as it was more slippery than the canvas-like jumpers which is easy to grab and hold onto.)  Less than a minute later, the beating was over and the CO's came in the lug both Pucci and emasculated Miguel back to the hole, with a triumphant and sassy Pucci letting everyone in earshot know who won the fight and everyone laughing at what could only be described bizarre.

Still laughing and bewildered, one of the more likable sergeants came around and said, "I don't understand how a dude can let a guy in a dress beat him up like that.  That's fuckin' embarassing!"  Apparently, the DCJ doesn't receive many staunch queens like Miss Pucci.

And If You Were Wondering What I Meant By Perceived and Real Unfairness Mentioned In the Previous Post...

This case is an example of what guys in the sex offender group would consider unfair:
 http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com/2011/03/ca-salinas-police-youth-leader-scott.html
Not being required to register as part of a plea deal is something many in the public are unaware of and think all convicted of a serious sex crime are on the registry and are the ones they need to focus on.  I've seen this deal before in Massachusetts. A Weston resident had child rape charges and got off without having to register also.  But that's Weston, so I'm not surprised.  
At some level I suppose should be happy for this guy, that he doesn't have the anchor around his neck that is the registry...

Some Thoughts On Sex Offender Counseling/Treatment Group

Now you have settled into a counseling regime, typically a weekly session, here are some additional thoughts on participating in sex offender counseling to keep in mind over the upcoming months and years:

Announce your intention to complete all phases of treatment as efficiently as possible:
You don't want to be mired in a black hole of counseling year after year, no matter how much time you have on probation. Your ultimate goal in counseling, besides not reoffending of course, should be to graduate to a maintenance program. Ask the counselor how long one should expect to spend in the first phases of treatment before being eligible for a maintenance program.

Relationship and socializing with other group members:
The group I attended allowed members to socialize outside of the counseling session, while others groups are more strict in their policy and prohibit such contact. It's completely normal for guys to form strong bonds in treatment groups and want to socialize and help each other outside the group setting. I gave my phone number to other group members for support in the event they were not well, engaging in problematic activities, or needed a ride to group. One good example of how this can work was an instance I was asked by a fellow group members if I would help him disable his computer since he was cracking out looking at adult porn, knowing it would lead him to seeking out illicit websites and chat (this guy was in maintenance and was not in violation of any condition or restriction). That's not necessarily something you ask your neighbor to do or want to explain why! Whether you engage other offenders outside the group or not, it is something of a personal choice. You have to be certain can remain objective and still, for instance, call this person out in group the same way you would had you not been hanging outside the group.

Ex-cons versus those who didn't do time: 
There is an inexorable bond and with guys who've done time behind bars that can sometimes border on resentment toward others in the group who weren't sentenced to incarceration but just probation or those who are convicted but don't have to register as a sex offender.  Predictably, a offender who had money to spend on a good lawyer to get a more desirable outcome with sentencing or had connections to achieve the same aren't celebrated in group.  

In fact, there's a convoluted mixture of feelings to deal with. Ex-cons (me included) recognize within each other the pain and suffering we had to go through inside prison. Now being out, we may overtly reminisce and half-heartedly joke about the trauma and madness of prison. Think of it - and I am not equating here - like veteran soldiers looking back at their recent war experience. Even if one soldier wasn't laying next to another in a ditch fighting for their lives, they would have an implicit understanding and camaraderie that civilians could never have. Same goes with ex-cons: You don't understand. You had it easy. It was 'Nam, you weren't there, man! You get the idea.  You'll have to excuse the ex-cons in the group if we go off on a tangent involving prison, get pissed and resentful, and leave others out of the conversation.  We've been to our own hell and back and survived to varying degrees. It's not a feeling of "we are better than you", more a mixture of feelings of unfairness, pride, and camaraderie that is undeniable. If you were never incarcerated, don't take this personally in any way. Besides, having avoided prison is something to be very grateful for! Trust me, being an ex-con is not a club you would have wanted to be a part of and all of us ex-cons would much rather have stayed on the outside.

However, even among ex-cons in group therapy, there's something of a hierarchy of who did how much time, at what facilities, federal/state/county bid, etc...typically with the most "respect" going to the guy who had the hardest/most time. Kind of crazy, but prison does follow you to the outside to some extent.

Child/Adult Offenders:
Speaking of hierarchy, there may also be an unspoken hierarchical structure to the group you join that will never be spoken about very much. This is not really obvious and is more of a perception carried by and colored with society's norms and values. A good counselor will make sure everyone in the group, regardless of their crime and/or age of victim(s), is equal to one another and no one tries to show moral authority over another.

It is human nature to make yourself as least heinous as possible, especially among other offenders. In prison, the guys who were in on statutory rape got a different reception than those in on child rape (what, was your victim twelveteen?!). This can extend into the treatment group. Nobody wants to feel like "the worst of the worst". It's a coping mechanism many offenders adopt to varying degrees: at least my victim was and adult; at least my victim was in his mid-teens, reached puberty, and was willing and I didn't force him; at least my victim was someone I knew and cared about and not a snatch-and-grab; at least I didn't penetrate him like he did; at least she wasn't my own daughter; at least he wasn't a toddler; at least I only looked at kiddie porn and didn't ever touch a child etc...

Truthfully, we all engage in this minimizing and coping at some level. Your ego really doesn't want to be the biggest pervert in the room. It's a protective mechanism that has its function. Just keep in mind this ranking of other group members may rear its head in some comments in various ways because, and let's be frank, American society views sex with a 15 year-old girl much differently than sex with an 11 year-old boy. Sex with a 15 year-old female is more "acceptable" than with a 11 year old male and just because someone is a sex offender doesn't mean he is not homophobic.

So no matter your conviction, don't feel like you can walk in and feel like the top dog or the biggest freak in the room. 

The Relapse Prevention Plan: Its Role In Sex Offender Counseling and Sex Offender Registry Board Petitions

Relapse Prevention Plan (RPP): If you are unfamiliar with this tool, a summary of the elements of a RPP is can be found here:
http://www.sexoffenderresource.com/relapse-prevention-plan/

Every sex offender therapy counselor/group is different in its approach.  Some are very structured and have workbooks and homework while others rely more on the organic process of group therapy, working things out verbally.  No matter the approach, the goal is the same: getting you to understand why you did what you did and help you to prevent reoffending.  To this end, the single most important document you will work on and want to leave counseling with is the relapse prevention plan.

A RPP has two very important functions: first, the RPP serves as a cognitive guide to help you, the counselor, and the group gain a better understanding of your psychology, your offense, the circumstances surrounding your offense, and how to recognize patterns and warning signs to head off maladaptive thoughts and behaviors which can lead to reoffending.  Initially, you will work intensively on the RPP, a document you are never completely done with.  I suggest really listening to others when they speak and convey their own stories and struggles.  There are undercurrents and themes many offenders share that you will recognize within yourself and can easily incorporate into your RPP.  Being an active participant and paying attention will help you become a more sophisticated and reflective group member, thereby helping to create a more productive, safe, and successful group and, ultimately, your RPP will benefit from being as complete and insightful as possible.

The second important function of the RPP is it's role in your sex offender classification/reclassification.  At some point, whether you are designated as a Level 1, Level 2, Or Level 3, you will want to lower you risk level or even petition to be released from the duty to register as a sex offender.  As the Massachusetts Sex Offender Registry Board puts it when considering factors for reclassification:

Factor 11: Currently in Sex Offender-Specific Treatment

...(c)...Offenders who actively participate in treatment voluntarily...and those who provide a full written copy of their relapse prevention plan, approved by their treatment provider, may receive additional consideration relative to their level of risk to reoffend and/or the degree of dangerousness they pose to public safety.

Here is the link to view the .PDF document: Motion for Reclassification is 1.37C (page 4.23) and the quoted text for Factor 11 is 1.40 (page 4.20)

This "additional consideration" is a good thing.  As I mentioned in this blog before, the board need information with which to make a decision. It likes to get as much information as possible.  You can have great letters from family, friends, and employers, supporting and attesting to the life you are now living, which the board does want.  However, they are not trained experts the board looks toward for expert opinion and testimony regarding your "dangerousness". Information from your counselor, including the RPP, gives the board much needed professional and personal insight into your treatment and progress since offending.  Leaving out a detailed RPP document is a glaring omission, one you want to avoid. Just think: if you were on the board looking at a RPP-less petition, you would probably err on the side of caution and not lower his risk level since you want to know that the petitioner thoroughly understand his offense and offending cycle and isn't continuing to attribute his offense to alcohol and drugs, for example. Besides, you don't want to give any member of the board one more reason to deny your petition.  At this writing, The Commonwealth only allows you to petition for relcassification every 3 years, so you want to be complete and do it right the first time around.

How to Choose a Sex Offender Counselor/Treatment Provider

This is one of the more important decisions you will have to make when starting sex offender counseling.  As far as I know, no matter where you are in the United States, you are able to choose your own counselor.  Of course, it's not that simple.  Let's take things step by step and walk through some considerations.

So you just met your PO who says you need to attend sex offender counseling within 7 days or you'll be in violation.  Probation may have a list of approved providers - ask for it.  Ask your PO if he has a recommendation.  At my probation office in Middlesex County, they preferred providers who are accredited through MCSOM (Massachusetts Coalition for Sex Offender Management) or MASOC (Massachusetts Adolescent Sex Offender Coalition), the latter focusing on juvenile offenders.  In the end, make certain your PO approves your choice.  For most, you'll be looking to get into a group rather than one-on-one.  It's cheaper and in my opinion the better option when starting counseling since you are with others in the same boat and the dynamic is in many ways invaluable and can't be replicated in individual counseling.  Individual counseling with the right provider can be just as productive and you will be able to spend more time on your specific issues but the majority of offenders attend group counseling (more on individual vs. group counseling in another post).

Now you have some names and numbers, start calling.  I'd begin with the ones your PO recommends while also taking into consideration their location and your access to reliable transportation.  Some of the questions you should ask each provider is:

• What is your approach to counseling (cognitive behavioral, psychoanalytic, humanistic, combination, etc...)
• How would you describe the counselors role with the group (do they facilitate the group or conduct it with a lot of oversight)
• How would you describe the current group of participants (ex-cons, probationers, voluntary, participants age range and types of offenses, etc...)
• What exactly do you report to probation?  Do you allow probation officers/law enforcement to sit in on sessions?
• What is the policy toward new group members?  For instance, do I have to tell my story the first day or do I have a few weeks before I have to go in depth with my story? 
• Can I sit in one night and see if the group is the right one for me? (your trying out a group should satisfy probation's requirement for attending sex offender counseling...as always check with your PO)
• Can I have a copy of your waiver
• How much per session?

You should ask other questions pertinent to your situation such as whether they accept insurance, the  absentee policy,

If possible, and I highly recommend this, is to sit in on a session.  Try out a few groups to compare and contrast.  You'll probably be nervous and scared walking in and sitting with a bunch of strangers talking about sex offending or their current woes, but you'll get used to it.

The counselor sets the tone for the group so try to be sure he isn't too soft (things can spiral out of control if they don't have control-I've seen it happen) or unnecessarily a bully (unreasonably threatening people to call their PO).  With some counselors, they know and need to turn the screws and pressure a sex offender on parole/probation from time to time to get progress or a breakthrough but you want to avoid ones who  abuse that power.  Ideally, the counselor is experienced and knows when to be relaxed and when to really push an individual or the group to get progress.

Also, pay attention to what is going on between participants and how people relate to one another.  Is the group supportive? Adversarial? Do group members allow a lot of denial to go unaddressed?  Are participants there to really change some things or are grudgingly there just to comply with probation?  To be realistic, you can expect a little bit of all of that in many members and groups.  However, you don't want any one characteristic to dominate.

After you've made your choice, chat it up with others in the group to get a sense of how they feel about the group and the counselor.  You'll know soon enough if that situation is right for you.  If not, don't hesitate to try out another provider though its better to decide this at an early stage to avoid starting from scratch all over again with another group.

Forget the Pity Party: This Is What Is Possible

Just a quick post to link you to MonsterMart, a blog about a Level 3 registered sex offender living in Washington State.  I don't really enjoy using the words "inspiring" or "hopeful" very much at all, but what he was able to accomplish simply kicks ass.

Less Than 6 Months of Probation Left: Some Things You Should Be Doing

As I enter the last months of my 10 years on probation, I thought it important to mention some of the things you should do to ensure a smooth, trouble free transition away from any type of supervision. A little bit of planning and proactivity can save you from trouble and receiving extra time on probation.

Recently, I spoke with an attorney in Boston who said an all too common reason a probationer is not released from probation is because he hasn't paid money owed.  This debt may include probation supervision fees, court fees, DNA fees, vicitim restitution, paying for victim counseling, etc...  You name it.  Whatever probation believe you owe, you owe.  Come your release day, if you owe money you won't be set free from probation until it's all paid off.  Even if you think you aren't in arrears, ask the probation office to do an audit on your account around 6 months before release to give you time to pay up, perform community service in lieu of cash payments, or dispute charges if need be.

Another suggestion is to scour your probation contract for what conditions you are required to complete or satisfy.  Besides paying many fees, you could be required to "complete" sex offender therapy, Alcoholics Anonymous, Anger Management, and other programs.  Be sure to know what "completing" means to the probation department.  Probation (and the courts) idea of of having completed a program may not be the same as what the particular program considers to be "completed" or "graduated".  In fact, these days here in Middlesex County a sex offender on probation who graduated from all phases of treatment cannot simply stop going to treatment.  One has to be in "maintenance" treatment while on probation.  Furthermore, what maintenance treatment is varies between providers.  Unfortunately, not much is standardized in the treatment provider community.  It wouldn't hurt to go over your probation contract with your probation officer so you are both on the same page.

And if you think you can and/or should stop attending treatment after you are released from probation, you might want to reconsider.  For example, if at any point in the future you plan on appealing your dangerousness level to the Sex Offender Registry Board (SORB), it behooves you to continue maintenance treatment after release from any supervision. Significant gaps of time where your well being and behavior cannot be accounted for could work against you since the SORB has no recent information or testimonials from treatment providers to take into account.  At the same time, seeing a therapist several times a year might be good insurance and good for you in the event you encounter problems or if you know you function and live better under a therapists supervision.

YMCAs begin to screen for sex offenders

This is an issue that came up in the beginning of January I wanted to comment on.
Here's the article:  YMCAs begin to screen for sex offenders
I am not a YMCA member, but this banning business is frustrating and crazy, in my opinion.

So the YMCA implemented this policy after a girls basketball coach, who was not a convicted sex offender when he was hired or when coaching, plead guilty to various sex offenses with young girls. I suppose the Y feels they have to do something showing they are "protecting" members, especially since it's less of a traditional gym and more of a mixed adult/kids place, but chalk this up as another reactive policy to sex offenders.

The Y is instituting a policy that doesn't directly address how they could have let a coach with a clean record come in and coach young girls he ended up offending against.  If the Y needs to find sex offenders among their members and staff, the only way to be sure is to have staff (this offender could be considered staff) and members undergo a thorough evaluation including personality testing, penile plethysmography, the female equivalent to a penile plethysmograph, and attentional evaluation to deviant stimuli.  Just ranting but what the hell...

A Little More About Prison Classification and Treatment

As I mentioned, do your research and gather enough information as you can about where you might want to go.  Granted, the classification board may already have other ideas but you should at least make a case for yourself.  Being realistic (i.e. not requesting to go straight to a minimum security facility if you have to serve 5 years) and being serious about treatment, getting your life back together/turned around, etc... all helps.

What I wanted to talk about further was the conundrum facing inmates who do not want to engage in treatment.  For some, they refuse to admit their offenses.  For others, they don't want to put themselves out there as a sex offender or participate in any type of treatment, maybe because he has a long sentence and wants to do most of it not labeled as a sex offender.  However, inmates who plan on appealing their convictions can be advised by their attorneys to not engage in treatment for any sort of admission could jeopardize the appeal.  Since treatment requires you admitting to the actions behind your conviction, there lies the rub.

By not participating in treatment, you could be seen as being in denial and more dangerous.  You could be sanctioned in various ways: not being allowed to work, unable to transfer to a better or lower security facility, being transferred to a "worse" facility, or even involuntarily civilly committed as a sexually dangerous person.  In my case and in part to get inmates to participate in sex offender treatment, state inmates were sent to Texas and told if we didn't engage in and complete Phase 1 of treatment offered at the county jail, we would not be considered eligible to return to Massachusetts.  Prison, much of it about incentives for certain behavior,  just works that way.

What I am trying to say is the prison system will essentially compel and bully you to comply. Appealing your conviction makes no difference to the people in charge and it won't immunize you from sanctions you may receive.  If you believe it's worth it and you have the promise of a great appeal then the hardship you will encounter may be worth it.  Whether you choose to engage in treatment or not, it's a calculated risk where at some point you may have to cut your losses and consider the long term consequences.

Busted

No, your life isn't over though some of you might feel like doing something drastic.  Don't.  Maybe you did it; maybe you didn't; maybe you've done more.  Whatever it is you've been accused of doing, this is a scary, confusing, emotional time to say the least.  Depending on many factors-what you have been accused of doing, family situation, where you live, your work, your friends, you involvement in the community- all of this factors into how things may go for you after you've been arrested or brought in front of a judge.

If you are fortunate, you'll be released on bail (possibly with a GPS monitor) or be under house arrest (A word about house arrest: it's much better than being in jail, but it's very stressful, especially if you live with loved ones.  I thought it would be more enjoyable than it was, but I couldn't eat very much and was somewhat miserable stuck mostly in my room.  Every time I looked at my family I felt like crap; my situation coloring almost every waking moment with the knowledge no matter what I was going to go to prison.).  Jail is, of course, the worst.  I was 20 when I spent 7 days in jail before being granted house arrest.  Oddly, I never felt more hungry before and being 5'11'' and 145 from the suburbs I didn't exactly feel safe.  And this is how naive I was: someone said there was a swimming pool on the roof of the jail we were able to use at night and I believed him!  Yikes...  I learned quickly after that.  Anyway, basic things such as communicating with your attorney and family from jail is cumbersome, but at least you are able to receive your jail time as time served off your sentence if you are given more.

Speaking of attorneys: do your best to find an attorney experienced with defending sex offenders and prepare to plunk down some good money for him.  You don't need to get the most expensive one, but don't go cheap when it comes to this attorney-it makes a big difference.  I had a court appointed attorney who didn't do as thorough a job as he should have.

Lastly, and briefly since I will write about this more in the future, you should start planning for your time in prison or on probation while you are (hopefully) still out and regardless of what you believe the outcome of your case to be.  The closest representation I've seen of how prison can be is the TV program "LockUp" on MSNBC.  It is TV and people have a camera on them so keep that in mind.  However, the show can give you a good idea of the milieu and stresses of prison, how it operates, and the tough choices you may have to make on a daily basis.

Additionally, you should understand how you will be classified and what facilities have sex offender treatment in your state and run it by your attorney.  It may make a difference if/when you go in front of the classification board asking for a certain facilities and backing up your request with rationale toward rehabilitation which probably includes treatment, education, work, and family considerations.  But have a plan on what you should accomplish before you are up for parole or released.  Your progress, or lack thereof, informs probation and the sex offender registry board on how "dangerous" you may be and if you are taking your offense and treatment seriously.

With probation, you need to understand all of the terms and conditions and stick to them and, as I mentioned before in the blog, do your job.  Be sure to understand what you are required to achieve treatment-wise and evaluate the program you enter to make sure you are able to satisfy probation's requirements by "completing" treatment at some level so you can successfully get off probation and show the sex offender registry board your progress if you choose to try and get reclassified to a lower risk level.